Getting Creative: Variety and Sex

Sex is a wonderful thing.

You know I think so because I write a sex blog, but I’m not the only one.

Sex has many noticeable benefits. It…

  • Boosts your immune system.
  • Lowers your blood pressure.
  • Lessens pain.
  • Can decrease prostate cancer risks.
  • Improves bladder control.
  • Is a natural mood booster.
  • Can improve sleep.
  • And boosts your libido (more sex = more desire for sex).

All of these are massive wins and a great reason to keep on having sex if your circumstances allow it. But what if sex gets stale?

A lack of libido (as mentioned above) is a fear that a lot of people have, as is the fear of sex becoming mundane or routine.

Happy Young Couple Exercising Outside

If you do the same thing again and again there is a real risk that your mind will begin to find the whole act of sex a bit monotonous or formulaic, and so it’s always good to break this mode.

That’s where getting creative comes in.


Variety is often said to be the spice of life, and in a clever turn of comparisons there is also a lot of variety in spices.

Not every spice will appeal to every person and different flavours are more suited to some which is why, today, I’m going to list a few ways to introduce creativity and variety in to your sexual routine. By breaking the mould with your sex life you are much more likely to keep things interesting for the mind (and the body) and to keep a happy and healthy sex life for many years to come.

#1 Eat Different Foods

This one might sound incredibly random, but hear me out.

Sex drive and desire are heavily influenced by the nutritional profile that we participate in every day.

Lack in foods like iron, zinc, magnesium, potassium, and even obscure micronutrients such as citrulline, polyphenols, or flavonoids and you might find that things are naturally not up to par in terms of drive and performance.

So get creative in the kitchen to boost passion in the bedroom.

By eating foods such as avocado, watermelon, pomegranate, dark chocolate, and pumpkin seeds you will be feeding your body fuel that then makes your sex life inherently more exciting. If you love honey you may be surprised to learn that can give your sex life a valuable boost.

You can even combine creating sex-boosting dishes with a sex-centric date in order to add more excitement and enjoyment to the whole situation. Romance is important for sex too, after all, as is the anticipation and build up.

#2 Get Immersed In Sex Culture

Some psychologists have proposed that sex is 10% biological and 90% cultural, in so much as the way we go about sex, the amount we consider normal for sex, and the variety that we bring in to sex play a large part in our libido and sexual satisfaction.

So, if your sex life is feeling a bit deflated then it might be time to try and immerse yourself in sex culture a bit more.

Now, now – I’m not suggesting you go out and buy 50 Shades of Grey, but one can’t deny the link between people reading that and the increase in sex toy sales and sexual conversation and activity. A perfect demonstration of the impact of culture on sex in practice.

However, what I am saying is that you might want to read more erotica, watch more racy movies, purchase some saucy magazines, browse sex shops online, or even attend a sex conference of a sex/kink based meet up with your partner/s.

Doing so will inherently make your mind much more receptive to sex and to exploring new types of sexual action. After all, the spark of inspiration has to come from somewhere.

#3 Introduce Sex Toys

If you want to charge your sex life then there’s always the option of getting something that takes a charge itself (or not, depending on what you go for).

Sex toys are tools that prompt creativity and variety.

Yes, sex at its bare bones is phenomenal and has a lot of variety, but add some additional kit and suddenly you’ve got a whole slew of potential.

If you’re hesitant about sex toys then why not try something gentle at first (like a collar, some cuffs, or even a feather duster) before opening up to try different things or trying them out with your partner.

It would be impossible to tell you every way to use the huge range of sex toys out there, which bodes well for creativity and variety in the bedroom.

#4 Try Distance

Not for long, and not in an extreme way but perhaps while on a business trip or if one of you is at a stag/hen do party or a similar event.

Distance can be great for introducing variety because, immediately, absence can make the heart grow fonder, you can spice up a relationship by not having sex.

You also have so many different things to play around with; dirty messages, naughty pictures, BDSM commands, phone sex, webcam chats and even sex toys which can be used with distance.

It’s up to you how you play, just make sure that you’re secure and that your privacy can’t be compromised.

Variety is good but safety comes first.

#5 Roleplay 

If you feel like you want to be someone else doing something else sometimes then that is a possibility.

Sexual roleplay, at its most basic level, is the art of pretending to be someone else together and then enjoy the scenarios that unfold.

It could be simple – two strangers meeting in the bar – or it could be intricate – medical roleplay, pizza boy and delivery girl, etc.

What matters is that you get to recapture that initial thrill of meeting, of playing together, and getting to know something a bit different.

Obviously this is a type of sexual exploration that is primed for creativity and variety, but it’s important that you set the terms too.

Talk through what you want to do a bit beforehand and set down some boundaries. A safe word is always useful and helps to make sure you can break character if needed. Again, safety first, including mental safety.

So There You Have It!

Sex is such a precious thing and it’s important that we make sure we never take it for granted.

If you feel like your sex life is struggling then feel free to use any of these ideas to kick start your enjoyment of the activity and relationship again.

Alternatively, get creative in your own way.

Whatever the variety you bring to your sex life just remember to enjoy the process, it’s all part of the fun.

Are You Getting What You Really Want from Sex?