Over the last 2 years, one book series has had the adult community in a tizz. But what book may this be? It is that of the Fifty Shades Of Grey series by E L James.
It is a book series that has excited the daily lives of house wives and mums, all over the world. Although it has it’s faults, you can’t argue that it hasn’t brought a controversial subject, to the forefront of media, when it comes to sex.
For years, decades even, the world of S&M and BDSM have been somewhat, a tricky subject to broach. Well, for those who haven’t really got an insight into it! There have been times that people with a lack of knowledge, would associate certain BDSM and bondage aspects and kinks, with abuse but it just isn’t so,
E L James allowed a toe-stepping subject to break the water’s edge, for the world to see that it really isn’t as bad and sickening as people make it out to be. We all have that something that gives us a kick, for some it is cars, trains, traveling etc and for others, it is sex.
I admit that 3 years ago, I was naive to the concept of BDSM. I knew that it involved a world that, sometimes dignity would be left at the bedroom door and other times, you had to allow someone else to completely over come you. But I wanted in and I wasn’t afraid to seek out the advice of the more seasoned participant. I joined Fetlife ( a website that is dedicated to the adult world, a bit like a kinky facebook but better) and prepared myself to lose my old me and gain the new me. I didn’t know what it was that I wanted exactly but I knew that in my heart, I was a submissive.
I delved into Fetlife with all I had, well, as much as I could with it being the internet but I took it all in my stride. I joined a group that planned meets all around the UK, for Fetlife members and it just so happened that one of those dates, was 2 weeks from the time that I signed up an account. So I jotted my name down, explained that I was new to the scene and was treading water. To my surprise, the members were very welcoming and allowed me to go at my pace.
When I met up with the group of Fetlife goers, it was like meeting a big group of friends. The meet was held at a quieter pub and we were able to enjoy the spring sunshine, catching the beams in the mid afternoon air. Couples were discussing their likes, how long they had been in the scene, how they got into it and much more. There were singletons there too, so I didn’t feel too left out. I wanted to explore my submissive side and was provided with tips on how to do so. 1 couple, even gave a little ‘over the clothes’ show of how to do certain things. I admired their brass balls, for not giving a care in the world who saw what we were up too, I mean, there wasn’t any actual sexual activity but people could mistake these actions for something a little more aggressive.
Important to lay down the rules
I was told that it was important to lay down the rules before proceeding in any activity. To agree on a safe word and what you will do and will not do and most of all, be confident. Don’t ever feel that you are being backed into a corner, just for someone else’s kink, always keep to your true self and intentions. Any consenting partner has to have respect for you, to be able to participate in such activities.
Then I followed my wants; being dominated in the bed, asphyxiation, restrained, various role playing scenarios, wax play and temperature play.
Where does this lead into the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy?
Well, by the time I had read the first and second book, I was feeling a little deflated. It didn’t feel like the author (E L James), had much personal experience in the field of BDSM, her words felt empty, to me. I never made it through the 3rd book, it was a struggle to get all the way to the end of the second one. Maybe the story just wasn’t for me but it did feel slightly ‘off’.
Christian Grey is portrayed as a wealthy and head strong business man, who has everything he wants and needs at his finger tips, except for the submissive woman. BUT he seemed too egotistic all the way through. There didn’t seem to be an even balance of being the Dominant in the bedroom to being the man walking the streets. In some aspects, it felt as if E L James was blurring the lines between Grey’s dominance in a sexual nature to being slightly abusive, in a way that isn’t accepted in the BDSM life style.
Yet, mums and a-like out there, that craved the FSOG trilogy, didn’t seem to care. They wanted that mysterious man to be with them, they wanted to hear those words “Mr. grey will see you now“.
It’s just a book, a story, right? Of course, don’t get me wrong, it’s fictional writing. It’s ‘mummy porn’, can’t argue with that.
I am glad though, that the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, is about to hit the golden screens. As long as the movie is perceived in a tasteful manner, then it’s a win-win all round!
Bringing sex to the front line
One thing is for sure, FSOG has been a controversial topic but one that has brought sex to the front line, allowing people to come forward with awareness topics in the sex workers world.
Why have I called this post ‘The FSOG Effect’? Simples……..a book, words even, have allowed people, like myself, to be more open, become more accepted in society and all because mummy porn and Mr Grey, allowed it to be.
After the books, came the merchandise, in particular the ’50 Shades of Grey’ sex toy range. Can’t argue with sex toys, well I won’t. I am sure that fans of the FSOG will be clawing to get their mitts on the official sex toy range, considering that they are all pretty much as what E L James had described in her trilogy.
So, here is a list of what is available:
Deluxe Black Out Blindfold
100ml At Ease anal lube
Tango Classic Silver Vibrator
Tango Classic Grey Vibrator
Christian Grey Silver Tie
30ml Come Alive pleasure Gel for her
Wickedly tempting rechargeable clitoral vibrator
Deep within rechargeable Gspot vibrator
Spank me, please spanking ruler
Massage Me -massage candle