Territory is about understanding the tools with which you have been given to use on your orgasmic journey.
First lets get back to basics – Our genitals are all exactly the same just arranged differently.
To quote from the wonderful Emily Nagoski’s book Come as You Are – “About 6 weeks after the fertilized egg implants in the uterus there is a wash of masculinizing hormones. The male group of cells formed from the embryo responds to this by developing its prefab universal genital hardware into the male configuration of penis, testicles and scrotum. The female cells do not respond to the hormone wash at all and instead develops its prefab universal hardware into the default, female configuration of clitoris ovaries and labia.”
So many things to talk about here! I mean that surely explains a lot.
I cant say enough how knowledge is golden at this stage, especially when it gives us so much capability to connect with our body and its potential for pleasure.
To put this into context I would like to explain the way in which i believe lack of knowledge has lead to a disadvantage for women when it comes to orgasmic pleasure.
Adult Toys for Pleasure
If you take arousal as an example – Boys have been seeing their erections from a very young age, likely as young as 3 and at the point where they are able to make the connection between erotic thoughts and their erections they begin to create neural pathways from their penis to their brain laying the foundations to control and understand their bodies physiological response.
Now when we get to women and our ‘lady boners’ – remember we are all the same just arranged differently – its gets a little trickier because our genital transformation is going on inside our bodies and unless you are carrying a mirror between your legs throughout your teenage years its very unlikely girls are able to make that same very powerful visual connection. If we want to catchup in this department, we must firstly get to know what our bodies look like and what they are capable of. Within the guide we have a few images of the anatomy of our genitals specifically the workings of the vulva and clitoris. Try out some adult toys and experiment with your body in a space you feel relaxed and comfortable.
Erectile tissue in your vulva for example is a vital piece of information and to begin to create these neural pathways of connection to this tissue you must use your most powerful tool – The mind. Being present during self exploration is key whilst noticing the feelings of being aroused and where in your body you are feeling them. Can you feel the blood flowing to your vulva making your lips and genitalia plump? When you are aroused take a look in the mirror, what does it look like? What does it feel like? Your are providing your body with a map to return back to this wonderful place so you must use every sense available to strengthen this memory.
Something which is very important to mention when discussing our bodies is how important it is that you have a good relationship with it. It is the most powerful thing you own and with orgasm being the pinnacle of pleasure that it can create we must be in adoration of what it can achieve. If you are ashamed, disgusted or embarrassed of your body then this will inhibit your ability to feel pleasure. Check out our ‘Better Sex for Her‘ section for some ideas that can stimulate your thoughts. You dont have to love everything about yourself but when it comes to sexual experience you must give way to the power and wonder of its pleasure capabilities. Understanding your body starts with loving it first. Now repeat after me I LOVE MY VAGINA, ORGASMS AND FULFILLED SEXUAL EXPERIENCE SHALL BE MINE. hehe
Other articles in the Ododi Guide To The Female Orgasm