When we talk about pleasure in this section it is important that we cover pleasure from both genital and extra genital perspective.
By this I mean putting pleasure into context so rather than sitting it on some distant pedestal we put sexual pleasure alongside everything else. For example the pleasure of eating a delicious meal, dancing the night away or spending time laughing with friends. When it comes to sexual pleasure I believe a fine balance must be struck. Yes we must revel in the the ecstatic feelings and sensations are bodies can produce but we must also focus on bringing these wonderful yet absolutely natural physiological responses into the mainstream consciousness. Shedding the shame and negativity that has been put upon us by external conservative influence. Sex toys and your own pleasure is nothing to be ashamed of.
Something extremely important to understand is that we are all different when it comes to what we find pleasurable. Much like we have different tastes – some people like spicy foods some people don’t some people like bananas some people despise them. This very same variety of taste applies to sex and to achieve orgasmic pleasure you must be ready to embark on understanding what your own unique taste is. This is a fun way of communicating your likes and dislikes with prospective sexual partners with some easy steps to follow to start to understand the framework of pleasure.
Remember that pleasure and pain are two sides of the same coin.
Pleasure and Pain, Sex Toys and Stimulation
Take for example if your partner comes up and kisses you on the lips you may find this very pleasing however if a complete stranger were to suddenly kiss you on the lips it would likely be quite displeasing. The same action but in different context. It is good to understand what kind of levels of contact apply to you. I am an extremely tactile person often found rolling around with my friends many of whom I affectionately kiss on the lips. This is my stage one but for other people it could be completely the opposite. Both are great you must find out how you do you. For optimal arousal it is important to build up the levels in the correct order. If you skip from friendly contact straight to ecstatic sexual contact you are likely not to be turned on enough and highly unlikely to get there through just this type of contact.
Taking your time to build up your arousal will allow you to transcend into higher states of pleasure, making orgasms stronger and the experience more fulfilling. Try to stick around in zone 2 and really take your time enjoying those feelings and sensations getting outside of your head and into your body.
When embarking on this exploration try to start off slow and gentle – clitoral stimulation can be extremely sensitive and if not aroused can be painful to touch. Once you have taken the time to become aroused your genitals should be plump and moist much like the male erection you should be looking for these signs before anything other than gentle stimulation. Start with the same pressure you would touch your eyelid and build from there. It is much easier to build up or ask for more pressure than it is to come back from pain and start over.
A patient, inquisitive, attentive lover is required to reach orgasm with great aplomb so choose your partner/s wisely.
Other articles in the Ododi Guide To The Female Orgasm