As an anal sex and pegging enthusiast, I often receive emails from people interested in initiating anal play with a partner, but feel apprehensive. The most common concerns raised are the possibility of pain and the likelihood of making a mess during the act. Thankfully, the first issue can be overcome using time, patience and practice, but the second is a little more difficult to solve.
Anal penetration usually involves introducing an object, usually fingers, penis or anal sex toy, into the rectal cavity and considering the rectums main purpose is as a temporary storage site for body waste, it is a natural concern. The idea of making a mess can make us feel so embarrassed that we avoid the act altogether, but there are some things you can do to reduce the risk and help put your mind at rest.
The first thing to consider is that waste is not usually stored inside the rectum itself; it is actually stored
further up the colon. When waste moves into the rectum, it stretches the walls and this sends the
message to your brain that tells you to go to the bathroom. Unless you are constipated, or have urges to
go to the bathroom, your rectum is generally clear or waste most of the time and many people find that
if they simply go to the bathroom before indulging in anal play, they have no issues at all.
Others do not feel confident relying on this method alone and so choose to go one step further and use
an anal douche. Douching is the process of filling the rectum with fluid (usually clean water), before
passing this fluid, along with any remaining waste matter from the rectum. Douching can further reduce
the potential for mess occurring, but the process raises many interesting questions. As a person who
douches regularly, I shall attempt to answer the most common ones here.
1. Choosing the right douching kit:
There are a number of different douching kits available and each comes with its own list of pros and
cons. The smallest and most basic douche available is the bulb style douche. These generally hold about
a cup full of water and are effective at cleaning out the rectum, although you might need to repeat the
douching process a few times, until the water runs clear. Bulb style douches will not clean as deeply as
larger douches, but they are cheap to purchase, simple to set up and easy to clean and store after use.
Bulb style douches are generally great for beginners.
Larger douches hold much more water and some, like shower douches, allow for constant refilling from
a tap or shower (Most come with a regulator, so you still have control over the flow of water). Using
more water will allow you to clean deeper and often more effectively in one go, but the downside to
these douches is that they take longer to set up and clean after use. Being much larger, they also require
more storage space.
2. When is the best time to douche?
The two time frames to consider are how early you should douche before anal play and how late you
can leave it. The time frames will vary from person to person and will depend on your own body, but
ideally you want to douche after eating your last meal before indulging in anal play. Of course, you don’t
want to leave it too late either, because the rectum/colon may retain some water after purging and
you may find that you continue to pass this for an hour or so after douching. Eventually, your bowel will
absorb any remaining liquid, but you want to ensure this process is complete before playing. Therefore,
the best average time frame for douching is somewhere between 3 hours and 1 hour before indulging in
3. What fluid is best for douching?
Clean, filtered water is the safest and gentlest fluid to use for anal douching. The rectum contains many
delicate mucous membranes and these can be irritated easily by soaps, salts or any other additives you
may wish to use. Additives may cause intense sensations and they can be absorbed by the bowel, which
could potentially cause issues within the body. I suffer from tachycardia (SVT) and discovered very early
on that salt water enemas gave me palpitations. Additives can also increase the risk of infection. Be very
careful what you put inside your body and if in doubt, check with your doctor.
4. What temperature should the water be?
For the gentlest sensations, you want to fill your douche with lukewarm (body temperature) water.
While it is okay to use cool water (in the sense that it won’t cause any damage to your body), you may
find that it causes more cramping and a heightened urgency to evacuate. Hot water should always be
avoided, as it can potentially cause burning and irritation to the delicate lining of the rectum. To avoid
burns, always mix the water thoroughly to remove any hot spots and then test the temperature of the
water on the back of your wrist before use.
5. How much water should I insert into my rectum?
When considering how much water to insert, the best thing to do is pay attention to your body. It will let
you know when you are reaching your limits, producing a pressure, or ‘full up’ sensation along with an
urgency to evacuate the bowels. If you experience this, or any cramping sensations, you should stop and
wait for the sensations to pass before continuing, or empty your bowels and repeat if needed. You may
find that you can take more water during subsequent attempts.
6. What is the most efficient and comfortable way to douche?
Douching can take anywhere from ten minutes to an hour to complete, so ensure you set aside plenty
of time. I find that the cleaning process is more effective if I allow gravity to work in my favour, so I like
to put a few towels down and lie on my left hand side, or on my hands and knees. These positions help
the water to flow up inside my body and this reduces the sensation of immediate urgency. I use plenty
of lubricant and take great care inserting the nozzle to avoid hurting myself. When inserting the water,
I control the flow rate to ensure I don’t fill my rectum too quickly. This can take several minutes to
complete. I hold the water for a few minutes maximum and then pass it, before repeating if necessary.
7. What are the potential risks?
If you use common sense, listen to your body, take into account any health issues you currently have
and take it slowly, the risks are minimal. The most common risks are as follows:
Damage to the bowel:
Inserting anything into your rectum will increase the risk of causing scratches, tears or perforation of the
bowel. You can reduce this risk by using plenty of lubricant, ensuring the douche nozzle is smooth and
inserting slowly and carefully.
Disruption to the natural floras and mucous in the gut:
Douching too regularly can flush out the natural flora and mucous that protects the gut. This can
potentially lead to infection or problems going to the toilet. You can reduce this risk by avoiding
douching too often. You want to give your gut time to repopulate and recover in between washes, so
you should avoid douching every single day.
8. What does it feel like? Does it hurt?
If you douche according to the advice in this article, you should find it a comfortable and pain-free
experience. If the water is at the correct temperature, you probably won’t even feel it as it fills the
rectum. Instead, you will simply feel a very gentle stretching or “pressure” sensation and an urge to go
to the bathroom. You may experience some cramping (Just as you might when you have a natural urge
to go to the bathroom), but not always.
Douching may seem intimidating at first, but I have been douching somewhat regularly for the past
four years without experiencing any issues. If you follow the guidelines above, it should be a painless,
comfortable experience. I continue to douche because it puts my mind at rest, allowing me to relax
and enjoy anal play with my partner. If the potential for mess worries you, douching may help put
your mind at rest too, but remember that the possibility is always there. For this reason I recommend
discussing your worries with your partner and only indulging in anal play with somebody who accepts
this possibility and is understanding if it happens