This guide is intended for both males and females who want to experience anal play and is written for beginners.
Before we begin with anal play:
Anal play, whether alone or with a partner, can be a lot of fun and a great addition to your sex life. However, I find it depressing to read (unexpectedly frequently) that some people believe that if a man enjoys anal play, he must be gay or, at the very least, have homosexual tendencies. I don’t find homosexuality to be objectionable in any way, but it hasn’t missed my notice that some people are concerned about it. So, in true Ododi fashion, I’d like to clear things up….
People do not “gay-proof” themselves. Like the colour pink, the sexual actions you enjoy performing in the bedroom do not modify or set your sexual orientation. Your sexual orientation is usually determined by WHO you want to have sexual relations with, rather than WHAT sexual relations you like. Please don’t deduce sexual orientation using this nonsensical method. Remember that gays and bisexuals enjoy oral sex, cuddling, and kissing just as much as heterosexuals.
Does this imply that we’re all perplexed? It is irrational. Stop fretting and start appreciating yourself for who you are and the pleasures you may have, regardless of your sexual orientation.
Information on douching:
One of the most common concerns I hear regarding anal intercourse is the possibility of making a mess.
There is no avoiding the fact that it is a danger, and this can deter people entirely. Investing in an anal douche is one way to reduce this risk or set your mind at ease. Douches are used to clean or rinse out the rectum. Some individuals swear by them, while others believe they are a waste of time; ultimately, it is up to you to decide.
Douching is a simple process. Fill the douche with warm (body temperature) water, insert the nozzle into your back passage, and squeeze the clean water into the rectum (Of course, this should be done while near a toilet.) Then simply release the contents and repeat the process until the water expelled from your back passage is clear. You should douche around 1 to 2 hours before engaging in anal play. During this time, the rectum will absorb any residual water, leaving you feeling clean.
A few things to keep in mind:
Douching doesn’t ensure totally clean play, but it does lessen the risk.
It’s safe to do, but don’t do it too frequently (every day or multiple times a day) because it can disrupt the gut’s normal PH balance, flora, and germs.
If you need to pass gas immediately after douching (within an hour), I recommend doing it while seated on the toilet.
(There may be some water left to pass.)
Now that is out of the way, let’s talk anal:
If you’re ready to try anal sex but don’t know where to begin, or if you’ve tried unsuccessfully in the past and suffered discomfort, this guide will get you on your road to having some enjoyable anal play.
The secret to good anal play with a partner is, as always, communication. You must be able to communicate about how far you want to go, what you don’t want to happen, and have the confidence to share your first experiences with each other. If extra lubricant is required, request it. Check with your partner to see if this speed is comfortable. If things are getting too intense, ask your companion to stop.
2) Buy yourself a decent lubricant:
The anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina, so trying to force something up inside your butt with a little spit and a prayer would most likely leave you sore and unsatisfied. Because the skin here is sensitive and prone to tearing, you should use a good quality lubricant before you begin. (Read our guide to lubricants here.) I would strongly advise against using lubricants that numb the area.
These are typically sold as anal lubricants and should be avoided, in my opinion.If you experience pain, this is your body’s way of informing you that something isn’t quite right.
You can listen to these cues without numbing yourself and quit before you damage yourself. Glycerin-based lubricants should also be avoided. What else is made up of glycerin? Suppositories for laxatives.
Now, I’m quite sure I’ve used many a lubricant that contained this substance before I knew better, and while I can’t say it caused any laxative consequences, it is a danger. Choose a lubrication that is quite thick and free of parabens, glycerin, and numbing chemicals.
3) Start small and go slow.
I’d have a lot of money if I had a pound for every time I heard from a man who had gotten interested in anal sex and regretted buying that “Jumbo XXL butt plug.”
Assume that your anus is a grouchy grandfather. You can knock on his door, but he will be slow to open it, moan and complain about why you are there in the first place, and while he may invite you in for coffee, he will be continuously rushing you out the door.
The butt is obstinate, and it despises unexpected visitors. You must first gradually warm up and begin with little steps.
Learning to relax your sphincter muscles is the goal. You must deal with two sphincter muscles, each of which is capable of working independently of the other. The first is the external sphincter, also known as the anal opening, and the second is the internal sphincter, which is not particularly deep. It’s above the first one, just within the bum.
Many persons who have tried anal intercourse say that they got their toy into their bum, but then felt the desire to evacuate their bowels, or an intense feeling of needing to bear down and push out whatever was within the anus. When the internal sphincter isn’t relaxed sufficiently, this sensation occurs.
4) Get yourself a butt toy:
Fingers are fine (as long as they have short nails and are clean; no one wants a scraped, hurting bottom), but you might want to try an anal sex toy. You could prefer to keep both hands free for other activities, or you might be ready to experiment with increased depth, girth, or thrusting sensations. Whatever the case may be, be sure you’re using an anal sex toy.
As soon as the muscles relax, the bum has an extraordinary ability to’suck up’ whatever is placed at the time. There’s a chance you’ll “lose” stuff inside your buttocks thanks to this and slick, greased fingertips. No one wants to go to the ER, so stick to anal safe toys with flared bases and put the ketchup bottle back in the refrigerator.
Not sure what anal sex toy to try?
Butt plugs are a type of butt plug that is used to plug the anus. They are frequently short and plump, giving the impression of fullness and pressure on the prostate. They can be utilised without using your hands, so you can implant it and go about your business. They aren’t the best for thrusting or riding because they aren’t meant for that. If you like the feeling of your buttocks being filled, plugs are ideal. Some people prefer to wear butt plugs for longer lengths of time, such as while shopping or at work.
They are available in a wide variety of shapes and sizes.
Anal Beads: For novices or anyone who appreciates rumbling or popping sensations travelling in and out of the anus, these beads are ideal. Inserting beads and then pulling them out at the instant of climax is a popular technique for amplifying orgasm.
Simply popping each ball in and out of you and feeling the balls brush past the prostate and/or anal entrance is another method to utilise them. Anal Beads can be worn without the need of your hands, although they are not always as comfortable as plugs.
They are usually longer than plugs and do not have a flared base, but each bead left outside the body should act as a little stopper, preventing the anal beads from becoming lost inside you. As a result, I always recommend leaving the very last bead outside the body.
Prostate Massagers: These come in a variety of forms and sizes, but they all have one thing in common: a curvature in the shaft or a curved tip. The prostate is a sexual hot spot for men, comparable to the female g-spot, and it lives on the front wall of the anus, much like the g-spot does within the vagina. It’s only natural that toys designed to target this area have curves or bends to apply pressure to the area or just to ensure that it’s stimulated.
These are similar to conventional dildos, but they include flared bases, loops, ripples, or some degree of base broadening to make them anal safe. These are available in a variety of forms, sizes, and textures, and are ideal for anyone who appreciates thrusting sensations.
Any of these items can be purchased with or without vibrations. It’s also worth noting that the various materials utilised in anal sex toys can have a significant impact on the sensations experienced. Wood, plastic, and glass toys, for example, are inflexible and unforgiving, whereas silicone is more flexible and can be more comfortable.
Rigid toys, such as those made of glass, wood, or plastic, might thus appear larger and more menacing. My spouse, for example, can comfortably hold a silicone toy with a 5 inch girth, but finds it nearly impossible to hold a glass toy of the same size.
When selecting your ideal toy, keep this in mind. I recommend experimenting with different materials to see what works best for you, but in general, silicone provides a more soft feeling whereas stiff materials provide a more intense experience.
5) If it hurts, stop!
Stop and take a few steps back if you are suffering pain. Use a smaller toy or more lubricant. If this doesn’t work, take a break and try again later. You should avoid pushing through pain since the skin around and inside the anus is fragile.
If you’re in pain, your body is asking you to slow down or stop. Pay attention to it.If you build up gently, you will be able to gradually take larger toys, and with time you may find you can take even larger, but you will most likely need to warm up to the larger toys during each new session. This is very normal.
Anal sex might take some getting accustomed to, especially if it’s your first time, so don’t rush it. Take your time, relax, and try new things. Similarly, don’t be dissatisfied if your companion is having trouble getting where you want to go.
It takes time, and the excitement comes from the journey. If you’re new to anal play and don’t know where to begin, go through our anal sex toy category to discover something that suits you.
Check out our Strap-On Q&A – For Some Helpful Advice