Anal sex is a subject that has cropped up more than anything, over the last few months.
Anal play is something that both men and women can experience and enjoy in the bedroom and it definitely is a topic that needs a gently introduction to. What people don’t realize is the pleasure that anal play can bring, to both sexes, well more for the men but women find heightened experiences that aren’t to be easily dismissed.
I won’t lie to you, anal sex does hurt the first time but that is a given, it’s pretty much like taking your ‘back-cherry’. This is because the skin and muscles around your anal ring (sphincter) are full of nerve endings, which you need to be gentle with. To get this area use to play, gently introduce your partner’s tongue and their fingers, to this area. Let your body become use to this area being touched.
You shouldn’t start anal play off with adding in butt/anal plugs, as a new comer. Start off with a finger and some anal lube, once your partner is comfortable with 1 finger, then introduce a second finger. For me, as a woman, this really does add in an extra ompth into sex, especially when I am near to that big O!
A man will appreciate his perineum being gently teased. This is the area beneath the anus and his ball sack. If you are playing with his bum hole, I found that stroking this area with my thumb or applying a tiny (and i mean a little bit) of pressure, helps him on his way.
Adding in sex toys, could be your next step. Using a sex toy like the Rocks Off Ass berry, could be a great choice. It has a berry shaped anal plug that you can slip a 7 speed Rocks Off bullet inside. Taking just the bullet and using it on it’s lowest vibration and use as a sensual massage over your man’s balls, perineum and then around the top of his anal area.
Whilst doing this, you can follow the bullet vibrator with your tongue, multiplying his sensations and enjoyment.
Another anal product that I have found to be quite popular with men and beginners, is the Aneros Eupho Classic Prostate Massager. Don’t threat about the price, as this is an anal massager that will have your toes curling. The shaft sits on the P-spot and applies the right about or pressure needed to help a guy on his way. The bearing that points up, sits on the perineum. But what do you do with it? You simply squeeze your bum cheeks, allowing this massager to do it’s job.
Or you could use a set of anal beads, my suggestion would be the Sex & Mischief black silicone anal beads. Easing them into the anal passage and as she or he is being teased and pleasured, slowly pull one bead out at a time.
Of course, with all these suggestions, you will need to use a generous amount of lubricant. Super Slik Lube, Give lube, ID Glide Lube are just a few lubricants that I would personally suggest to use. But you can use whatever lubricant that you prefer to use. I would sway away from using anal lubricants that have a numbing effect, as your anal area is very sensitive and soft, you need to be able to feel what is happening, otherwise you could end up with an unwanted cut (yes, it has happened). Please don’t opt for a lubricant that is attractive as it is cheap, after all, you are paying for what you get.
Moving up a gear from finger and anal beads, you may want to try out an anal dildo/butt plug or anal vibrator but how will kyou know if you like something? Well, let’s start with dildos and work from there.
I can highly recommend the Metal Worx Mr Smooth dildo, this metal beauty is perfect for beginners and those who like a small sized dildo. Plus with it’s shape and smooth outlines, it’s a winner for being easy to slip into those tighter places.
The loving Joy Demi Silicone butt plug is perfect to start out with, for both men and women. Plus, with it’s flared base, it makes this little charmer a contender for a plug that you can wear during the day (if you like that).
Taking a small step up from the Loving Joy butt plug, you may want to check out the Tantus Bronco Silicone butt plug, slightly wider and a little bit longer, it is definitely an anal toy to invest in.
Let’s not forget about the Nexus brand of anal products. One of my favorites has to be the Nexus G Play small prostate massager. You can use it as an anal plug or a massager, it has all the curves in the right places and hits the man’s P-spot with the greatest ease.
What about sex positions? I can’t answer this from a man’s POV but I can from a woman’s. I started off with the doggy style position, thinking this was the best way. But after experiencing anal sex more and more, I would say that the best way is if the woman lowers down onto the man. She has the control and it is a more natural position. I’ve done it with Mr. Monkey sitting on the sofa, legs astride and me squatting and lowering down on him (this is when your thigh muscles are reminded that they are there). Another position would be from behind; me on the sofa. one lg up on the arm of the sofa and the other kneeling on the sofa. OK, this sounds a bit like a Russian gymnast move but it works and he can then slowly slide in (emphasis on slowly).
And remember LUBE UP!
For anal sex to be fun, you need to be relaxed. Being tensed up will only make the experience uncomfortable for you. Now, I am not condoning drinking but my first time, I had 3 glasses of wine, which relaxed me enough to let him in, without feeling like I was being stuffed with a pitch fork! If you know other ways to relax, then give them a go.
Once you’ve managed to get over the first steps of anal sex, you entering a whole new world of bedroom fun. But always remember sexual health. If he is penetrating you vaginally and anally, then use condoms! It is a must, as you can gain a nasty case of thrush, passing germs from the bum to the foo foo isn’t a nice though. Also, switch the condoms, don’t use the same condom for anal, as vaginal sex.
When it comes to the health of your sex toys, ensure that you clean them fully. Hot soapy water and an antibacterial sex toy cleaner spray will do the trick.
It is also a must that you only use sex toys that are body safe (Silicone, glass).
Please steer clear of PVC, any sort of rubber (even if they state body safe, as it is not). These are non-porous products, may contain latex and phthalates. Basically holds nasty chemicals and have small pores in, as well as being absorbent. To put it in easier terms………….you can not clean them properly and they tend to house germs like a magnet.