People sometimes don’t ‘get’ fantasies, especially fantasies that involve power plays, infidelity, or certain age changes (or discrepancies). But it’s important to remember that fantasies, and the enjoyment of them, are purely fabrications. Loads of people, for example, enjoyed the newest Mad Max or John Wick (pick a movie) but very few of us are likely to go on a post-apocalyptic kill fest, or go on a ruthless murder spree.
As with movies, we can enjoy certain actions without ever wanting to commit them in real lives. It is, however, also true that sometimes we like to enact fantasies in a safe and positive manner. This is to be encouraged and so, in this post, I’ll be looking at 5 popular fantasies and ways to explore them.
Let’s dive in to it!
#1 Power and Control
Power plays and ideas on control or domination are one of the most popular sexual fantasies out there – whether it be a light spanking or a full-on domination game.
Thankfully this one is easy to explore, due to the popularity of books such as Fifty Shades and the slew of introductory BDSM starter kits that come in to play. Just make sure that you communicate, share your needs pre-scene, and have a safe word and you’re golden.
There is a lot to be said about monogamy, but many people also fantasise about being with more than one lover. This could speak to the primal urge to “spread the species”, or perhaps it’s a desired break from the now conventional system of monogamous union which doesn’t work for so many of us.
No matter what causes it there are a few ways one could act on this fantasy. The first is to bring in a trusted individual and invite them to explore with you. Boundaries would have to be very clear, of course, but this can work well. There’s also the option of watching porn and fantasizing that it’s part of an inclusionary play. Or, instead, one could use the services of independent escorts in order to fulfil you fantasy in a neutral way. Just make sure to use reputable sources and you’ll be golden).
This is yet another very common fantasy, especially among men, when it comes to sex.
Whereas power play gives direct control to someone in the situation, vouyerism explores power in a different way.
There’s a sense of dissociation of power, because one isn’t part of the action, and yet witnessing an act is, in it’s own way, a powerful position, leaving all with a sense of control and all in power.
This can be mimicked either by allowing a partner to witness masturbation or playing with sex toys, but denying them participation, or, again, by including a friend or escort in the situation. Again, just play it safe.
#4 Gender Flexibility
Believe it or not, a lot of people fantasize about cross-dressing, gender swaps, or having their partner take the opposite roll. This isn’t about sexuality as much as it is about identity and playing around with social norms, and it can be mega hot!
This is an easy one to replicate but, first, you need to have an open and honest discussion about exactly what you’re hoping for and your attitudes towards gender.
This can be enacted through typical roleplay, can start to involve clothes purchased second hand or cheaply, all the way up to professional gear. The choice is yours.
#5 Traditional Romance
Believe it or not, in a survey of common fantasies a lot of people nowadays are hoping to rekindle the traditional romantic cliches that we all swoon over in love stories.
This one might not be as bedroom based but it’s still a very popular and very crucial fantasy and, thankfully, easily accessible to enact. Go on walks at sunset, surprise each other with flowers, have dinner by candlelight. By all accounts, romance is sexy and doesn’t have to be just a fantasy.
SO, What Are You Waiting For?
This year why not make it a point to explore your fantasy, whether it’s one of these or something personal to you!