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Power Play: Combining Chastity and Strap-On Sex
Mar
Last month, I shared my thoughts on strap-on sex in an article titled “Strap-on Sex: A Female Perspective on Pegging”. In that article, I touched upon power dynamics (Dominance and submission) within relationships and how I enjoy using my strap-on to heighten these dynamics within my relationship. See, the strap-on offers much more than physical pleasure and this is why it is so potent. It is essentially a tool that allows us to sink deeper (figuratively speaking) into our fantasies, letting us play with our deepest, darkest desires. In this sense, the strap-on itself becomes the ultimate mind fuck, as it allows me to penetrate his mind, as well as his body. As a dominant female, in a relationship with a submissive male, it is the taking and relinquishing of control that arouses us the most.
Being an open minded, experimental couple, we are constantly searching for new tools to help increase my control (mentally or physically) and diminish his. It didn’t take me long to discover that the most powerful tools available to me were the strap-on harness and the chastity device. Now, you may have noticed that chastity and strap-on sex often feature together in female dominance (FemDom) pornography and there is a very good reason for this (aside from it being incredibly hot). Chastity and pegging, as individual kinks, are capable of invoking intense feelings, ranging from pleasure, right through to control, denial, dominance and power. Combining the two kinks? Well that’s just explosive.
Control Over Orgasm
Remember that chastity is not synonymous with submission (You cannot make a non-submissive person submit to you by simply placing them in a chastity device), but for those who fantasise about surrender, the chastity device can help take them to whole new levels of submission. This is understandable. Not only does he lose control over his orgasms, but also his ability to touch his penis and in some instances, get an erection. The chastity cage becomes a constant, physical reminder of his denial, so his thoughts will often drift back to his key holder. See, we always want what we can’t have and being denied like this will cause his arousal to build and simmer at a heightened level. Can you imagine how intensely arousing (and frustrating) it must be, to be denied for days, even weeks on end, while your partner teases and denies you that ultimate release? For some, this provokes powerful feelings of submission.
This build up of arousal then sets the scene for mind blowing pegging sessions and the reason for this is quite simple; when he is denied access to his penis, the rest of his body becomes more receptive to other kinds of stimulation. I will often use the strap-on to tease him visually (As he watches me strut around with it attached) or put it to use as a prostate stimulator to provide intense physical pleasure. The amazing thing is that the strap-on allows me to continue to enforce my dominance throughout the session, because I control everything, from the speed of the penetration, to whether or not I will push him to orgasm. Keeping him locked in chastity during the session makes his subservience all the more apparent. I like to watch him struggle to get erect inside the small cage, knowing he feels constricted and is longing to be touched. Ultimately, this leaves him feeling helpless, vulnerable and even emasculated, which further enforces our roles. This is arousing for us both.
Providing prostate stimulation
Providing prostate stimulation on a chaste male can be even more intense than usual. The prostate gland sits a few inches inside his rectum and many men experience pleasurable sensations when it is stimulated. Some men can even experience full blown orgasms from prostate stimulation alone. You may come across the term “prostate milking” in your travels too and this term describes the act of massaging the prostate gland until a few drops of prostatic fluid leaks from his penis. Prostatic fluid is the creamy coloured fluid found in ejaculate and he may produce more of this liquid if he is highly aroused during the massage. Some men have trained themselves to ejaculate without orgasm (for example, Tantric sex), but this requires a lot of practise. There is a difference between prostate orgasm and prostate milking. If he experiences a full prostate orgasm, semen will shoot out from the penis and he will experience the same muscular contractions associated with a standard orgasm, only this time it happens without touching the penis at all. Milking can feel pleasurable or uncomfortable, depending on your technique, but it will not produce orgasmic contractions.
Prostate milking is reasonably common among the chastity community and it is done for a variety of different reasons. Some believe that it is unhealthy for a male to withhold his ejaculate for extended periods of time, so they use prostate milking to cause ejaculate to leak without having to give him an orgasm. I choose to do it simply because his penis has been removed from the action. I still want to provide pleasure and enforce my dominance after all. Through the use of a chastity device, some small anal toys and our strap-on harnesses, my partner learned to reach orgasm through prostate stimulation alone. I can use this to my advantage, teasing him with the strap-on and even giving him orgasms without ever removing his chastity cage.
Fantasies are as complex as the people who have them
It is important to remember that fantasies are as complex as the people who have them and everyone experiences pleasure in different ways. It is entirely possible for two people to enjoy the same fantasy, or sensation, for totally different reasons. It is simply not true that these kinks will have the same affect on every man. I have already described how prostate orgasms leave my partner feeling frustrated. He compares this type of orgasm to a minimised or ruined orgasm because it doesn’t feel as intense unless he also has stimulation to his penis. We have a friend who feels differently. He describes the prostate orgasm as intensely pleasurable and satisfying. Knowing what provides pleasure and what produces frustration will give you the advantage during play sessions. Do you want to make him feel denied or are you ready to give him pleasure? You have the power to choose.
For those who enjoy dominance, submission, or any other form of power exchange, combining chastity with strap-on sex can open up some intense possibilities. Can you imagine how it feels to hand over control of your own pleasure, because it pleases you to do so? For some people, this is their ultimate fantasy. They may crave the intense feelings of submission and powerlessness, of feel aroused by giving up their control. Then there are those of us on the flip side, who want to take that control and turn it into something mind blowing.
If you are just beginning on this journey, I highly recommend purchasing a high quality chastity device, designed for comfort and long term wear. And if he is new to anal, check out some of the beginner guides on our blog, as these will help you get started. There is nothing more off-putting than uncomfortable, ill fitting devices or toys. Communicate your desires with your partner every step of the way and build up gradually. There is so much pleasure to be had in the journey. If you need further recommendations or advice, get in touch. The experienced and lovely folks at Ododi.com are always happy to help and my inbox is always open too.
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