Porn and The Art of Looking

What is it that we like about watching pornography? Why does a candid shot of a lurid scene taken on a Polaroid make some of us weak at the knees? Why do we dim the lights, get ourselves primed, and happily settle in with a Sex Cam feed?

These actions are all natural. If done in a self-accepting, transparent, and ethical way they can all be part of a healthy and abundant sex life (yes, even in relationships).

But just what is it about looking in to the sexual acts of others that appeals to us so much?

Now that is an interesting question.

Is It Generational?

Unlikely.

People have been making and viewing sexual acts for as long as mankind has existed…perhaps even longer.

Y’see in a study by Platt, Khera and Deaner at Duke University male monkeys were offered the option of either having highly valued privileges or seeing a female monkey’s hindquarters. In a reasonable amount of cases it was found that primates would happily forgo some of life’s other pleasures for a chance at some baboon booty.

To this end, it’s reasonable to assume that at least most primates (mankind included) possess an instinctual desire to view that aspect of each other.

Then, of course, there’s the immense amount of art out there; Beautiful images of chiselled male physiques and curvaceous muses spanning the years. In certain times paintings of naked individuals were done as if mythological in nature (to justify the nudity) before being settled away in the private quarters of rich merchants and haughty aristocrats. These acted as their own little secrets; private glimpses in to flesh that would only be viewed and appreciated by a select few.

So Privacy Is An Element?

Potentially.

There are a few different elements to the viewing of sex and some people do find appreciation in the rarity of the viewing or, in other cases, the forbidden element of it.

Just think of the artistic viewing exampled above: It’s a perfect demonstration of both the rarity instance (only a few people would be able to afford such depictions, and only few would have access to the viewings) and the forbidden element (there’s a reason that the nudes were whimsically tied up mythology – it was seen as justifiable then…but only just).

More than once when asking people what they found appealing about pornography the word “taboo” has come up; the idea of breaking some kind of intimate and unspoken barrier. which defies the sense of everyday decency and borders in to the daring. Masturbation is no longer a dirty word.

But then there comes the extra element…

The Invitation

While there is a sense of taboo to viewing intimacy there’s also a sense of permission – consent, knowledge, and awareness between all involved.

There is, for example, the idea of ‘The Gaze’ when it comes to viewing; that being the notion that some stares have a sense of dominance, ownership and (on a sometimes more problematic element) even objectivity in certain commanding and intense acts of looking.

Yet in pornography and similar acts there may be fantasy of the forbidden glimpse but, in reality, that glimpse is almost always undertaken with a degree of awareness from everyone involved.

Sex Cams are one such example; Those who look in to cams do so on the invitation of those who have decided to perform in front of a lens often using sex toys for pleasure, and thus there is a sense of sexual opening and lure to the viewing of such actions. It confers a come hither that is always underlying and a sense of trust that is often unspoken (and, in the instance of digital or filmed media, even non-chronological) yet which still clearly exists.

Then Of Course There’s Gratification

Which resonates with everyone involved.

Speaking from a personal point of view, when I invite myself to be looked upon sexually I’m hoping that the person watching approves. That, in turn, makes me feel further satisfied, as does the witnessing individual’s pleasure at me showing approval at their satisfied viewing.

In this way the act of witnessing sexual acts can create a brilliant ripple affect of gratification, especially if this viewing is done live (such as with cam girls, dogging, sex parties, or similar).

In short, the act of looking itself is sometimes it’s own arousing trigger. Or, at least, the awareness of the action and what implications it might have between all involved. Its often a fun way to enjoy sex without actually having sex.

The Takeaway

There is very little doubt that the act of looking can be a significant part of human interactions, and maybe this should be of no surprise. After all, as a species when it comes to communication we place more importance on body language then we do tone of voice or even what is being said.

Given this, the appeal and art of looking may have significance not because of one singular reason but more because of what it represents – communication between individuals, sexual or otherwise – and the opportunity to indulge in that sexually is something worth appreciating.