I went on a date the other night. It went okay.
And it got me thinking about what is expected and what guys do on dates. I’ve had some odd experiences. So I thought I’d offer a few tips that I keep in mind when I’m meeting someone for the first time, whether it’s for a quick hookup or a longer term partnership.
- Be Yourself – Your online profiles should reflect your true interests, not the interests of the person you’re hoping to meet. There’s really no point in lying about who you are and what you enjoy in life, because if you find a person to have a relationship or friendship with, you’ll have to explain yourself later.
- Know what you want – Don’t be agreeing to meet people who are looking for a long term relationship if all you want is a one night stand. There are plenty of men and women out there who will be looking for the same, so there’s no reason to lie to get into someones pants. Likewise, make sure you are both on the same page. If you only want to meet someone to have a shag with, make sure that’s what they want too. It could be embarrassing or a waste of either your time or theirs otherwise.
- Make an effort – First impressions count. If you rock up in paint splattered jeans because you’ve been decorating all day or you stink of cigarette smoke, it will go against you. Yes, it might only be a relaxed drink or a quick hook-up, but little details count. You can still look relaxed without looking like a slob.
- Be sensible – Most people don’t imagine that they’ll be swept off their feet. Skydiving and horse riding are generally not expected as first date experiences. If you watch too many romantic films you might think they are, but most people expect a quiet drink, a movie and a meal. Of course, if you’re both only seeking a hook-up, you might dispense with everything but the drink.
- Maintain reasonable expectations – Maybe the person you’re meeting has changed their mind, or maybe once they’ve talked to you for a minute they want to be your long-term lover rather than a one night stand? Things change, so be reasonable in your expectations. Likewise, other people might fib a little (even if you’ve been 100% honest in your profile). Maybe she has a few more lbs than you though in the pictures on her profile, maybe his dick is a little shorter than you imagined. Ultimately what difference does it make?
- Be honest – If you’re nervous, say so, if you decide you’ve changed your mind and you’re no longer as horny as you were when you made the date, be honest about it. If you forgot to update your profile and you’ve gone from seeking love to seeking a one-nighter, say so.
- Be positive – Always have a smile and a pleasant attitude. Don’t be going to a date after a long day and using them to unload all your problems. Yes, you might feel like you can talk to them, but even if they say it’s okay, it’s not. They’re just being polite. If you’re not in the right frame of mind, reschedule. They’d rather have their date delayed by a week than put up with a sad dude who’s banging on about their boss. It’s not attractive.
- Be safe – It should go without saying that if you are hooking up with a girl or guy you’ve never met before, use your common sense. Use protection. But more than that, make sure someone you know is aware of where you’re going and who you’re meeting. There really are some strange people out there, and at the very least, you can set a time for someone to call you to give you an excuse to leave if you feel THAT uncomfortable.
- Don’t be too generous – If you’re meeting a guy, let them buy a round or two. Don’t be the one buying all the drinks. If you’re meeting a woman, be a gent but don’t take it too far. If she requests that she pay her way, argue once, then let it go.
- Enjoy it – You’re meeting new people, new friends. You’re creating new experiences. This should be fun, not scary or intimidating. On most dates the nerves leave within a few minutes, and you’ll probably get comfortable with your date very quickly. Make it fun and interesting, and as long as you’re being honest and you both know what you want, there should be no reason to feel too nervous about it.