When A Relationship Just Clicks

New relationships are interesting. Sometimes you spend a few weeks tentatively dating, trying to ascertain each other, and figuring out if there’s potential there for something more.

Other times you meet for your first date and then spend the entire night talking to each other before slotting in to a near-perfect routine together.

The former has its own difficulties and is a bit complicated to navigate, but that doesn’t mean that the latter isn’t without peril too.

When a relationship seems to just click almost instantly then the honeymoon period mixes strongly with the ‘new love’ period and you end up elated and rushing through an amazing array of emotions. You’re riding off of each other’s energy, feeling good about life, and generally left reeling at how everything has happened.

And therein lies the potential for problems.

It’s very easy to get swept away in a relationship when it seems to go well almost instantly. Because of this it’s also easy to lose track of some of the vital elements that make a good new relationship a great long term relationship.

If you really like someone then it’s important to think about that potential for the long term and the maintenance that such a relationship involves, which means reigning in at least some of your initial excitement to put in some crucial steps.

This is not a comprehensive list of all the things you might need to individually navigate but here are some of the best tips I can offer for making sure that a new relationship that feels right has the potential to become a long term relationship that is right.

#1 Establish Boundaries Early On

If you’re swooning over your new partner then you might start to get slack with your boundaries, whether they’re ethical, social, work-related, or anything else.

Because of this it’s important to anchor yourself and to make sure that you make your boundaries clear straight away.

Let them know when you need to work and when you might need to dedicate your time elsewhere. If you have personal or ethical boundaries then don’t sacrifice them or let them slack out of fear or worry that you’ll scare your partner off.

Remember; the best relationships aren’t codependent – they’re interdependent – meaning you can respect and understand each other’s personal boundaries and lifestyles while still supporting and facilitating each other.

Get this in place early on and you avoid clashes in the future where you suddenly might need to re-establish your boundaries.

#2 Get Used to Being Alone

If you adore your new partner/s then you might want to spent every waking (and sleeping) hour with them, but this is unrealistic.

Again, be aware that you will, at times, have personal boundaries and other obligations that require you to be apart, so it’s important to know what it’s like to lead your own lives and to be comfortable not just together in a relationship but also alone in a relationship.

This doesn’t mean that you won’t still miss each other when apart. On the contrary, it’s quite a nice sensation to have someone to miss. But, it does mean that it’s important to maintain a level of independence and to avoid pining after your partner.

Some things in life are still best done in your own company and if you’re not comfortable in your own sense of solitude then it will be harder to be wholly comfortable together too.

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#3 Communicate

Chances are in a new relationship you’re already talking about everything and anything – from your favourite childhood shows to your previous trials and tribulations.

This is important (and vital) but so, too, is honing in on your own feelings about the relationship, your feelings in yourself, and how these things intersect.

Take some time in the new relationship to check in every now and then, see if you’re on the same page, and consider what you both want out of the relationship (and your own individual lives).

If things align then great. If they don’t, however, then it’s better to find out (and potentially address it) early on rather then get a rude awakening as time goes on.

#4 Find a (Fair) Routine

There are many romantic elements of a new relationship, then there are those that are just mundane.

The cooking, the washing up, the cleaning, the distribution of food shopping and food bills.

All of these will individually inflate when in a relationship and, if you’re not careful, you can build up an imbalance and some potential resentments early on.

If you can establish a routine for chores and money distribution on group activities early on then you are much more likely to maintain it and to be happy with how things are going.

Remember – you are not more or less important than your partner in a relationship. Your feelings and needs are equally valid, which means that so is the distribution of the mundane things that are part of your relationship.

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#5 Enjoy It (For the Long Run)

The new stage of a relationship doesn’t happen often and you never know when the feeling will wear off, so enjoy it while it lasts, but make sure that you have a realistic understanding of where things will go.

If you both understand that, eventually, an exciting relationship stage will become a cosy part of every day life, and savour all stages of a relationship, then you are much more likely to have a deep appreciation of things as the relationship grows and develops.

So, take the time to enjoy and experience those early stages to the fully, assured that in time you’ll find different ways to find happiness and joy with each other.

The Takeaway

When relationships work straight away you are at an immediate advantage, but it’s also very easy for insecurities and burnout to emerge.

Take these steps to heart and you’ll hopefully be in a much more secure position to keep the joy going strong and keep your love growing and evolving in different ways.

All the best to those who are in a new relationship like this. It truly is an unforgettable time.

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