Sexology – The Ododi A to Z of Sex Terms

You thought you’d learned your sex ABCs a long time ago. But then, you hear someone talking about cuckolding, queening, or a Wartenberg wheel, and you suddenly feel like you’re learning a new language. The thing is, when it comes to sex terms, you essentially are constantly learning a new language, and that’s okay.

Scroll down for your comprehensive guide to those not-so-basic sex terms.


slang for a sex act where both partners are stimulating the other with their mouths

AB, Adult Babies

a fetish for regression into an infant/toddler state through dress (including diapers), roleplaying, and being rendered helpless to a Mommy/Nanny; the formal title for this fetish is “paraphilic infantilsm”; it can manifest itself in many ways but revolves around the ideas of giving up control to Mommy, wearing diapers and other baby clothes, playing with other ABs, being stripped of responsibility, and sometimes, exhibitionism; ABs need a Mommy/Nanny to help take care of them, to feed them, clothe them, change their diapers and check for diaper rash, play with them, and to discipline them when necessary


sexual arousal caused by bathing or showers


sensation play that can range from playful to painful that uses rough, textured objects such as steel wool, sandpaper, and pumice stones to stroke, massage, or graze the skin


term for anal intercourse (either homosexual, heterosexual, or strap-on play) where the recipient is on his/her back with knees drawn up to their chest and touching their shoulders


slang for a bisexual

AC/DC dildo

a dildo with a head on each end, one large and one smaller


another word for orgasm


arousal from heights


a medical condition where a male has too many erections that are often painful and embarrassing




a marriage in which brothers share their wives amongst each other


a fetish for dressing as an adolescent


a span of time after an intense BDSM session during which the submissive partner is tended to by his/her Dominant; can include resting, rehydration/feeding, cleaning wounds, putting salve on chafes (from handcuffs/bondage), drawing a bath, psychological repair, or perhaps, just providing a safe quiet space for the submissive to collect his/her thoughts


slang for a tiny penis

age of majority

the age when one is legally considered an adult by the governing laws of their current location and/or residence

age play

any roleplay/fantasy that involves a change in age; the most common is one or more adults pretending to be a teenager or child but can also include aging fantasies.

algolagnia, algophilia

psychological and sexual arousal from the infliction of pain

alternative lifestyle

a general term that refers to sexual preferences and practices outside the accepted societal norm of monogamous, heterosexual partnerships


a term for female ejaculation that has its roots in tantric sex practices

anal balloon pump

an inflatable toy for the asshole that can be pumped up to stretch once inserted, often used in personal masturbation and also by Mistresses training their sluts to be good asswhores

anal beads, anal balls, anal pearls

several names for a string of beads/balls that are inserted into the anus, one by one, and tugged at varying strengths and speeds to cause pleasurable sensations, especially during orgasm


kissing, licking, or penetrating an asshole with the tongue

androgyny, androgynous

a representation (usually through dress, speech, and demeanor) that is a balanced mix of both female and male identity

angel, john

slang for a man who hires a prostitute for sex

angry dragon

slang for when sperm shoots out of one’s nose after giving a blow job

animal play, animalism

roleplaying that one (or more) person(s) are an animal during a fantasy; common manifestations of this fantasy include ponies and dogs; the play can include grooming, training, feeding, collaring/bridling, and, in the case of horses, riding

ankle cuffs

bondage mechanisms specifically designed for the ankles, often made of leather; they can also be made of metal, wood, or fabric and can either be used as symbols, in conjunction with loose chains or a spreader bar, or to bind someone in place to a fixed object/wall


a male who has no testicles, either from birth or as the result of castration




any food, drink, drug, or other stimulus taken internally that causes sexual arousal


a bondage garmet that looks like one long sleeve; both arms are trapped inside and bound even more tightly using laces, straps, and buttons; arms are often bound behind the back and the binder is often used along with other restraints to prevent getting free

around the world

licking or kissing the entire body before commencing with a further sex act; in Dominant-submissive situations, there may be no further sex act beyond oral worship


sexual arousal achieved by being choked/strangled/suffocated to the point of passing out

asymmetric bondage

the act of restraint that is uneven and asymmetrical, causing the bound person to be disoriented and off balance; this type of bondage can cause intense psychological reactions.


nope, not an automated teller machine in the adult world, rather it’s “ass to mouth”, a reference to an adult performer going from anal sex to oral sex without – uh – cleaning up in between. Highly unsafe sexual practice, and apparently high eroticized by some people because of it. While we list sites that include that content, it’s important to realize that is extremely risky behavior for STDs.


slang for an older homosexual who is no longer considered to be a hot commodity among the beauty-conscious gay community


the ability to perform (or the act of performing) oral sex on one’s own vagina

autoerotic asphyxia

self-strangulation or suffocation to bring on sexual excitement


another term for masturbation


the ability to perform (and the act of performing) oral sex on one’s own penis


a fetish for crossdressing


the rare act of (& ability to!) a man inserting his own penis into his asshole


torturing oneself through pain for sexual gratification and release


acronym for bondage and discipline


slang for anal sex while the person is on his/her stomach and being penetrated from behind


slang for fellatio

ball gag

a gag made of a ball and a strap that affixes around the back of the head

ball hood

an extreme restraint hood with no holes for eyes or ears and a pump mechanism that inflates pockets to eliminate any wiggle room and to render the hooded sub unable to see, hear, or speak

balloon knot

slang for the anus


slang for having sex without using a condom


a type of pain play that involves causing pain to the soles of the feet; whips, crops, paddles, fire, and sharp pins are common tools used to inflict the pain


Big, beautiful woman. I’ve seen this term used by some webmasters to describe any woman over a size 6, but I tend to think you have to at least be shopping at Lane Bryant to qualify. Generally used by BBWs to describe themselves, and you can tell an asshole clueless webmaster when he uses other words like “fatty”, “plumper”, etc.


broad term for sexual predilections involving power exchange, sadomasochism, and/or bondage. The letters in this acronym can be constructed using the subsets of this catch all:
B&D = bondage & discipline
D/s = Domination & submission
S&M = sadism & masochism

practitioners of BDSM have many different triggers including humiliation, physical pain, endurance, and restraint


primarily used in the Gay male leather community to describe big, hairy guys.

beastiality, bestiality

any form of sexual interaction between humans and animals, including masturbation and actual intercourse

behavioral transexual

passing through lifestyle, dress, and demeanor as a member of the opposite gender without having sexual reassignment or gender modification surgery


a fetish for sharp implements including cut glass, needles, knives, and pins

ben-wa balls

two balls of varying size and weight that are inserted into the vagina to stimulate excitement by knocking together and rotating around each other with movement

blood play

edge play fetish that includes drawing blood for sexual arousal; play with needles and knives is also included in this fetish term

body modification

piercing, branding, tattoos, body corsets, and other means of modifying the body

the act of restraining another person or oneself;

when a person is bound so they cannot move it is called “restraint bondage”; they can either be immobilized by binding limbs together or to a fixed object

when a person is bound with to have freedom of movement to cause the binds rub against sensitive areas; this is called “stimulation bondage”

another popular form of bondage is asymmetric, based on Japanese bondage; during this practice, restraints are done to cause a sense of unbalance


the person in a BDSM relationship who is the recipient of the bondage, discipline, and sadism; a bottom is not necessarily submissive

breath play, breath control

edge play that interferes with breathing via strangulation or smothering for sexual arousal


Japanese term that has migrated to English-speaking fetish circles referring to a circle of men jerking off onto a person in the middle

butterfly chair

a chair with two boards to bind the legs to. When the legs are bound, they can then be rotated in and out to spread the legs far apart

butterfly vibrator

a small vibrator attached to straps that hold it securly in place on a woman’s vibrator; the butterfly vibrator often comes with a remote for full control by the wearer… or someone else!

a sex toy used to stimulate, stretch, and fill the anus; the buttplug is different from a dildo in that it is designed specifically for fitting into and staying secure in an asshole


castration is any action, surgical, chemical or otherwise, that results in the removal/loss of use of the testes rendering him sterile; male-to-female transexuals sometimes undergo castration as part of their gender reassignment; there is also a fetish that fantasizes about and sometimes actually undergoes castration

Catherine’s Wheel

a large, upright wheel, usually made of wood, to which a person may be bound and then rotated to any position


a thin, flexible tube designed to be inserted in the urethra for use in medical play

CBT, C&B Torture, cock & ball torture

painful stimulation of a male’s balls and penis using binds, needles, clamps, burning balms, candles, and blunt force


Acronym for “clothed female, naked male”, a genre of porn with slight power exchange feel that is quickly gaining popularity.

chastity belt

a device intended to restrict contact with or stimulation of the genitals; female chastity belts are usually a lockable harness that fits like a pair of underwear; male chastity belts usually include a locking enclosure that fits around the penis

clover clamp

a specific type of nipple clamp with a lever and cord that allows to pressure to be increased and decreased

a toy that encircles the penis, used for both pain and pleasure stimulation; can include vibration, hot/cold temperature play, increasing pressure, and chastity mechanisms

cock tease, prick tease

a woman (often times a younger woman) who dresses and behaves provocatively in order to induce arousal in a male but then denies him satisfaction


Another term for a “popup”, a browser window that opens automatically. These are common in both adult sites and non-adult sites, and there are ways you can block these, although in our reviews we mention sites that use them.

corporal punishment

spanking used for punishment (rather than for the mere “pleasure” of the physical sensation); the punishments are often placed into a domestic setting, whether fantasized or based in reality


United Kingdom slang term that refers to the practice of men looking for same-sex partners in public restrooms.


a cuckold is a married man with a sexually unfaithful wife; in BDSM, cuckolding is used for humiliation and sissification


oral sex performed on a vagina


sensation play involving the use of small glass or plastic cups which are placed over the skin and then evacuated to create a vacuum

custom videos

many women and men offer custom videos for sale – you send them your specifications, scenario, costume preferences and so on, and they create a video just for the customer.

dental dam

prophylactic used for oral sex on a woman

phallic shaped sex toy used to penetrate the vagina, ass, and mouth

double penetration, DP

for a woman, this most commonly refers to being penetrated by cocks (or dildos) in both her vagina and ass at the same time; for a man (and rarely, for a woman) it can also refer to penetration in the mouth and ass

edge play

any sexual play that carries serious risk of physical harm including breath control/asphyxiation, electrical play, bloodsports, and fire play; can also be applied to play that breaks a person’s previous boundaries


Many people who play with pain in an S/M context do it for only the physical sensation – an endorphin high caused by the body reacting to stimuli that they perceive as pleasurable instead of (or because of) pain.


forcing water or another liquid (ie. soap, lemon juice, cod liver oil) into the anus and subsequently the bowel or lower intestine via a nozzle/tube; enemas can be given for sexual arousal, for cleansing purposes, or for humiliation of bottoms


sexual arousal from being watched in a public space while performing sexual acts


toy that is placed over a penis to extend its length

face sitting

slang for when a woman (most often a Mistress) smothers a man with her ass; also called “queening”


slang for intentionally ejaculating all over someone’s face (rather than aiming for their mouth)

family play

fantasy exploration of sexual relations between family member; also known as incest fantasy

fan fiction

the precursor to Slash fiction, fan fiction has roots in the cancellation of Star Trek, which caused fans to start writing their own fiction featuring those characters. Fan Fiction is anything with well known media characters, there are websites for both G rated and “adult” fan fiction.


slang for sucking/licking semen out of an asshole

FemDom, FemDomme, Feminatrix, Domina, Domme

A Female Dominant


“fetish” can actually be applied to any affection for or fixation on a specific act, object, idea, or person; it needn’t be a sexual connotation; sexual fetishes are actions, objects, persons, or ideas that serve as triggers for sexual arousal


a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to a specific object, article of clothing or body part


inserting ginger root into the vagina or asshole to create a burning sensation


the act of inserting an entire first into a vagina or anus and using it to fuck that person; considered a sexual feat and is often used as punishment for slaves (especially in the ass)


broad term for any type of whipping, spanking, caning, flogging, etc

flash fiction

the little sister to the short story, flash fiction is a genre in which the story should be told in 100 words or less. Word count opinions vary though, you’ll find people calling anything from 75 to 1,500 words “flash”.

fluffer, fluffing

typically refers to a person (man or woman) who performs oral sex on a porn actor to prepare him for his next scene; can also be used in BDSM/kink play, forcing sluts to prepare lovers for their Mistress, or cuckholded husbands preparing lovers for their wives

foot fetish

someone who eroticizes feet. I’ve talked to people with any number of various preferences when it comes to how they like to view feet, from those who have a thing for a certain kind of shoe, to pedicure, to type of toes.

forced feminization

forcing a submissive man to take on the qualities of the female gender through dress, speech, actions, sexual practices, and even urination; this can be done through sheer command, blackmail, pain, or coersion; also known as sissification and, after training, can often end in “coming out” events for further humiliation in front of masculine men and other Dominant women


fetish for turning humans into furniture, through elaborate bondage, etc.

fountain of Venus

watersports play between women

friction booth

an electronic device that a person stands against or lays down on which passes a slight current through their body; another person then touches them, producing tingling sensations


the act of rubbing or humping against another person; often it is done while clothed in various costumes, from fetish wear to animal costumes


Well, some people use this to describe women who don’t shave (otherwise known as hirsute) and some people use it to describe overly hairy men. Take your pick.


Used in escort terminology, it stands for “girlfriend experience”, an escort who is going to try to give you a friendly, girlfriend-like date.

golden screw

watersports play when a man pisses inside a woman’s vagina while fucking her

golden shower

the act of urinating on someone else for either sexual arousal or to humiliate them

gonzo porn

porn film that has no plotline but rather just shows one sex act after another


to impregnate a woman; often used in fetish circles among men who fantasize about serially impregnanting women or one specific woman


Another word for WAM (Wet and Messy) fetish, which involves people getting gunked up with mud, oil, creampie, you name it.


a fetish for worshipping women

half & half

performing both a rim job and a blow job in one sexual encounter

hard swap

allowing your partner to fuck someone else when you aren’t present


used to hold a strap-on dildo in place around the hips; traditional animal harnesses are also used in animal play (ie. pony/dog training)


abbreviation for “humiliation and discipline”


exceptionally hairy – used to describe either male or female, although I see it more often used to describe women who don’t shave, and have the normal amount of hair any woman would who didn’t shave.


the desire to have sex with someone of the same sex

Hot dog in a bun

slang for uncircumcised penis

hot karl

slang for shitting in a person’s mouth


slang for semen


roleplay during which adults dress and act like babies; this includes wearing diapers, drinking out bottles, talking in baby talk; this “fetish” often does not include any sexual element

inversion table

piece of bondage equipment to which a person is strapped and then rotated so that they can be upside down, tilted down, or upright without their control

jilling off

a term used to describe women masturbating, instead of “jacking off”

jism, jizz

slang for semen


sexual play between a human and a dog

Kink, kinky

a Kink is a person who practices sexual activities outside mainstream intercourse and play; kinky is used to describe any sexual activity that goes beyond the mainstream

kneeling bench

a bench, often only a foot from the floor, constructed of wood and usually not padded… used for endurance tests when slaves are made to kneel on it for an extended period of time… also used to position submissives for punishments


having no reserved predilections or sexual limits


the boundaries a person places on their sexual desires and willingness to engage in activities; in BDSM scenes, all persons’ “limits” should be discussed prior to beginning play, even those of the submissive


a term to describe someone with a balloon fetish. There are two distinct camps to balloon fetishists – some who love it when the balloons are popped (between breasts or thighs, etc) and those who absolutely do NOT WANT the balloon to pop, but merely to bulge.

lot lizard

prostitute who works in parking lots or truck stops


abbreviation for the BDSM relationship, Master and slave


fetish for the act of childbirth or pregnant women


the sexual desire to be inflicted with physical pain


a Dominant Male, often used in terms of an established Dominant/submissive relationship


Dominant Female who controls a man’s orgasms, both through denial/chastity training and repeated forced masturbation and orgasm


a term used to describe older women in the adult world. I’ve seen this used by some webmasters to describe any woman over the age of about 25, but in our listings we only put sites in that category that are over 40, or specifically refer to themselves as “mature”.


acronym/slang for “Mother I’d Like to Fuck”


either stroking a man’s cock and bringing him to orgasm and then continuing to stroke him hard (and to orgasm) again and again..
Using dildos, electronic stimuli, or fingering of the prostate to cause ejaculation without stroking the penis or allowing orgasm


slang for a person considered to be ugly


A Dominant Female


bondage that complete immobilizes a person from head to toe; strips of fabric, leather, rope, and sometimes plastic wrap are used

mutual masturbation

the act of two or more persons masturbating at the same time for the pleasure of each other

nitrite inhalants

recreational drug used as an aphrodisiac or sexual stimulant by inhaling vabors released from capsules snapped open; also called “poppers” or “snappers”


we use this in reviews to denote a site that offers paid access without automatically rebilling you monthly.


arousal caused by amputation and amputees


if you don’t know this one, then you definitely need JanesGuide!


you’ll sometimes see this used in reviews to denote “one time charge” – a site that offers a single month (or other term) access without automatically renewing/billing you.


slang for a gay man who is very hairy, but too small (in frame size) to be called a bear.

over the knee, OTK

spanking done with the recipient bent over the spanker’s lap, often done in corporal punishment and/or family play scenes


a fairly new term to describe the “male G-spot”: stimulating the male prostate via anal penetration


a person who is attracted to all genders and all forms of sex

pearl necklace

slang for cumming across a woman’s chest

suction pump that the penis is inserted into and then pumping to remove air from the chamber and thus stimulate (and enlarge) the penis


any sexual intercourse that involves the penis (anal, oral, or vaginal)


chemicals created by the body that are released by animals (including humans) to cause physical attraction

pink sock

when the colon extends beyond the asshole after anal sex


edge play of drawing blood with a blade

piss play

fetish play that involves urine, either in mutual/playful or in BDSM scenes


the act of being in a loving, intimate relationship with more than one person


being married to more than one person at a time; most polygamists are men and must operate outside the law, concealing their practice

pony play

roleplay during which a submissive pretends to be a pony; this includes wearing a saddle, bit, and bridle, being ridden, being brushed and groomed, wearing an attached tail, and only neighing instead of speaking

pony training

training a person to (1) act as a horse or (2) be obedient as a trained horse


a liquid aphrodisiac/stimulant that is inhaled; the term “poppers” comes from the fact that it often comes in capsules that are “popped” open to release the stimulant


point-of-view. Lots of times you’ll see this in reviews when we’re describing content that was shot by the person engaged in the sex act – you know the type I’m talking about, like a blowjob video or photo set all shot by the guy getting the blowjob.

Power Exchange, Total Power Exchange

describes the relationship between a Dominant and submissive; “Total Power Exchange” is used to describe long term relationships that retain the frames of D/s


any physical means used to prevent pregnancy, most often used in reference to a condom

PVC (polyvinylchloride)

plastic material used in fetish wear


slang for air escaping from the vagina, often during sexual intercourse and especially during orgasm


the act of a Mistress sitting, bareassed or clothed, on her submissive’s face for extended periods of time (turning the slut’s face into a throne for the “Queen”); some Mistresses stay mindful of allowing the slave to breath easily while others (with the consent/acknowledgement of the slave) incorporate breath control in this play


adult paysites that automatically bill you for whatever time amount the subscription is. Most adult sites are recurring billing, it’s an exception when they aren’t. See our consumer tips section for info on how to make sure you can cancel, and what to do if you have a hard time.

red wings

slang for someone who has given oral sex to a woman who is menstruating

rim job

slang for tonguing an asshole (but not necessarily penetrating it)

Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK)

one school of thought in the BDSM community to define the parameters of play; RACK acknowledges that most BDSM activities have risks for those participating but as long as everyone is fully aware of those risks and still enters the play, then the activity is ethically acceptable

rusty trombone

slang for tonguing a man’s ass while also jerking off his dick


abbreviation for “sadism and masochism”

sadism, sadist

sexual arousal from infliction pain or humilation on another person


sexual practices where an individual derives pleasure from inflicting pain or humiliation onto others or oneself

safe sex

sexual intercourse that involves the use of some type of protection against disease and pregnancy, most often through the use of condoms or dental dams

safe word

word decided upon before play that the bottom can use at any time during a BDSM session to stop the action (Can also be a non-verbal signal for gagged play)


slang for feces


intricate form of Japanese bondage that combines restraint and stimulation bondage. Often can also include assymetrical tying methods; practioners study bondage techniques extensively and consider the act of, the aesthetics of, and the sensations of being bound in these forms are all important parts of the fetish experience


Licking or sucking another person’s toes for sexual arousal (not in servitude)

slash fiction

Definition from Wikipedia: fan fiction, describing gay pairings between media characters, often in explicit detail, and very frequently outside the canon of the source. The name arises from the use of the slash character in phrases such as ‘Kirk/Spock’ to describe the stories. (’Kirk/Spock’ is widely thought to be the first type of slash fiction, first appearing in the 1970s in Star Trek fanzines.)


bottom/submissive; person who gives control over to a specific Dominant


kissing someone in order to transfer semen from mouth to mouth


kissing a man immediately after he ejaculates in your mouth, without leaking any of his semen


anal intercourse; often used in a derogatory manner

soft swap

allowing your partner to fuck someone else but only while you are present

spanish fly

slang for an aphrodisiac substance


slang for “Wet and Messy Fetish” (aka WAM); arousal from either being covered or covering another’s body with food, mud, shaving cream, and any other messy items; some sploshers have a specific fetish for one type of food (ie. pudding or tomato sauce) while others simply like to play with whatever messy foods and substances are available… the messier the better!

a rod/bar that is attached to both ankles, forcing the legs apart

St. Andrew’s Cross

bondage equipment in the shape of an X. Bottoms are bound by each limb to the 4 “spokes” of the X; they are then either left for long periods of time or flogged… or both!


bondage equipment that models old-fashioned stockades; wrists and neck are uncomfortably locked between two wooden planks for long spells of time

suspension rack

bondage equipment that can take several forms; used to suspend a bottom above the floor (unsupported so the binds pull) for endurance, bondage, and pain play


name for a person who can take on both dominant and submissive roles, depending on their mood, the kink, and/or their partner


slang for the sensitive area of skin that lies between the asshole and the vagina/scrotum

tea bagging

slang for lowering a man’s testicles into his partner’s mouth

TENS unit

electrical stimulis device originally intended for us by chiropractors for muscle work; used in electrical play by Tops on bottoms to cause involuntary muscle spasms


the Dominant person in a BDSM or D/s relationship who retains control and power over their bottom


catch-all term for people who express and/or consider themselves to be different from their birth-assigned gender; this includes transexuals, crossgender practicioners, transvestites, drag kinks & queens, and purposeful androgynous people


a person who dresses and acts as a member of the opposite sex


acronym for transexual and transvestite

vanilla sex

sexual activities that do not include kink, bdsm, or fetishism

vault horse

bondage equipment used mostly for spanking play; a bottom/submissive is bent over the horse and tied or cuffed in place, leaving their ass, back, and thighs vulnerable for spanking and flogging


a sex toy that is operated by batteries or other power source that vibrates to cause pleasurable sensations; vibrators can be in any different shapes including phallic, eggs, butterfly, beads, or wands

violet wand

an electrical device that uses radio energy to create sparks; the intensity of spark can be modulated to range in intensity, from the sensation of static charge to jolting shocks


a fetish for watching others, often without the subjects knowing; although voyeurism is often associated with watching sex acts, some voyeurs get off one watching mundane activities


acronym for “Wet and Messy”, which eroticizes women (or men) getting goopy – mudwrestling, pies in the face, whipped cream, any number of things.


fetish play involving urine; can either be used as a form of humiliation between a Dominant and their submissive (even allowing friends to use their submissive as a toilet) OR can be a mutual kink where both/multiple partners piss on each other


Windows Media Viewer, probably the format most widely used for both streaming and downloadable video files.


to lavish attention, honor, and adoration towards a Mistress or Master, often through words, tongue bathing, gifts, and acting as a human throne or footstool


slang/code for “gay”


acronym for “Your Kink Is OK”; used as a symbol of inclusiveness with clubs, organizations, websites, and on personal ads