Impotence is something that affects many millions of men around the world. Its causes can be both physical and psychological.
In many cases it can be rectified quite easily. In the case of psychological causes, even more so. Here we explore the psychological issues relating to impotence and discuss the possible solutions that might not actually require professional assistance.
We’ve possibly all been there. One moment we’re in the mood, flying at full mast, and then suddenly and without warning something happens. Our soldier is wounded, man down.
For most of us this is a momentary glitch, or it’s very occasional. But, even though its cause may be unknown or even long gone, regaining your stroke is almost impossible. Once that one-off event happens, your moment has passed and been replaced by a feeling of inadequacy. This often fools men into believing there is a more serious problem or long-term issues to confront.
In reality, what could have been a one-off loss of performance then becomes a self-perpetuating problem. The fear of it happening again can actually cause it to happen when it otherwise wouldn’t have.
We’re talking about anxiety-induced impotence. The fear that you might not perform as well (or at all) can be a leading cause of impotence in men – especially in younger men.
A good way to assess if your performance issues are anxiety-related is to monitor whether this happens only during intercourse with others or during masturbation too. If it also occurs during masturbation and you cannot clearly explain it away due to tiredness or a passing illness, then there may be a more considerable physical or psychological cause.
If you have any doubts about this, you should always visit your Doctor and seek professional advice.
Solutions to Anxiety-related Impotence.
Once you’ve established that your performance issues are related to your mental state or your fears about your performance, there are plenty of things that you can do.
- General Health. Your general health is a very basic factor here. We all know that red meat, smoking and caffeine can cause problems. It should go without saying that the first thing to do would be to confront any basic practices or habits that may contribute to your problem.
- Exercise. Taking part in light exercise is proven to not only assist your physical health, but it also improves your mental health and general self-perception. You feel better after a pleasant workout. Your mental agility, imagination, thought processes and state of mind all improve through exercise. You feel more confident and capable, and this should never be underestimated.
- Relax. Sex with others is not a race. Your focus should not be on simply pleasing yourself and getting to your cum shot as soon as possible. Take your time to explore your body with your partner, use foreplay and masturbation as tools to build the excitement.
- Persistence. So your dick went floppy ten minutes into the fun, so what! A floppy dick can be just as much fun as a hard one. Maintain your sense of fun and humor and keep playing between you. Use the time to do something for your partner, focus on their pleasure. Most men who engage in lengthy love making sessions loose their erection several times during it. Consider when you spend a while looking for and viewing porn, you’re not hard throughout are you? It’s normal for this to happen.
- Abstinence. Taking a break from sex for a while can increase your sexual desire immensely. So perhaps break with your routine for a while if your expecting a sexual encounter. If, like most men, you masturbate a few times a week, hold off for a week before you’re due to meet up with your partner. Alternatively, learn some methods of edging. Bring yourself close to climax repeatedly, and by the time you’re due to meet your partner your dick will probably be begging to fire off.
- Don’t accept criticism. If your partner thinks it’s funny to make light of your situation, explain to them how it makes you feel. Most of all, explain to them that their attitude will certainly not be helping! Additionally, if this is the kind of partner you have, do they even deserve you and your dick?
- Try something new. Explore your sexuality more by introducing toys and lubricants. There are so many products out there these days designed for men, you can find plenty of new sensations to increase your arousal.
- Porn? Really? Yes! Lets face it, you’ve probably established that you can have a wank just fine, but you’ve created this performance issue which builds a psychological block when you’re having sex. Most men watch porn when they wank, so why not incorporate that into your sex with others too? It’s true to say that not all partners will accept or appreciate this, and that’s down to you both. Discuss it and see where it leads.
- Diversify. For the single guys out there, have you actually tried being a little more experimental? We all have fetishes and little quirks that make us interesting, so why not explore them? If they’re healthy and do no harm, what have you got to loose? I know Gay guys who have experimented with women, Bi guys who have suggested a threesome and their partner agreed, straight guys who have a male fetish and have meet up with other men to experience something. The world is your sex club, and it’s never been easier (or more socially acceptable) to find others interested in the same things.
- Viagra. Of course, medicinal options do often work. But I’m a stickler for taking the natural options first unless it’s life-threatening, that’s why this is the final option for me. Use of Viagra might be an easy option, a quick-fix, but if you have a psychological issue with sex, popping a pill is not solving the problem or breaking the cycle. It’s worth considering if all else has failed, but I would always suggest that medical intervention in this way should be a last resort for psychologically induced impotence.
As always, if you have ANY doubts, seek a professional medical opinion. There are counseling and advice services available to you, so make use of them. Embarrassment in this topic is in the mind of the person experiencing it. Professionals are experienced and deal with it on a day-to-day basis. They’ve heard it all before and you are just another guy with a problem they’d like to help resolve.
Also, you have mates, right? You should have one or two mates in your life that you can go to and talk about this. Chances are good they’ve experienced something like this themselves and are in a good position to offer their thoughts. Even if they can’t tell you anything you don’t already know, it is proven that a problem shared makes it easier to cope with.