Despite the fact that we had been using sex toys as a couple for many years prior, the last ten months have taught us things we didn’t know before, such as the differences between shallow and deep vibrations, what phthalates were (and how to spell phthalates), and how the material used to create the toy (glass, silicone, metal) will provide its own unique sensations, and much, much more. The most significant lesson we learned was that there is no such thing as a universal sex tool.
I know what I want these days, but I’m still open to being surprised. I’ve definitely become a lot more picky. I’ve had the pleasure of evaluating some truly amazing sex toys in the last ten months, from delightfully squishy dongs to bullet vibrators that changed my mind about bullet vibrators, but I’ve also come across a good number of flops. As the year comes to a close, I’d like to share with you my personal best and worst lists of sex toys and accessories that I’ve reviewed this year.
Best Sex Toys for Females:
4th Place: The Tantus Cush
I must have admired the Tantus Cush for at least six months before ultimately acquiring this gorgeous dildo. The Cush is a huge, spongy, flexible dildo that may be used in both anal and vaginal applications. Because of the smooth, texture-free shaft, it’s best for individuals looking for a full experience and some light stretching. Even for my delicate and sensitive vulva, the Cush was never too intense. The Cush is composed of high-quality, dual-density silicone (the stiffer silicone core is covered with a much softer, squishy silicone layer), which gives it a more lifelike sensation. Although its bigger diameter makes it inappropriate for beginners, it is one of the best ‘all rounder’ dildos in my collection, being used for simulating penetration during clitoral masturbation, g-spot jiggling, anal and pegging.
3rd Place: The Doxy Massager
This is the most powerful vibrator I’ve ever used. The highest settings on this mains-powered wand are simply too much for me, but the lower options are enough to knock my socks off. This vibrator is so strong that it can practically force orgasms, which makes it ideal for BDSM and times when I’m having trouble.
It can even easily induce orgasm in my partner, making it an excellent couples toy. This is a mains-powered wand with a pattern setting and a soft, spongy head for additional comfort. It has a few flaws, but this premium wand never fails to make us come, sometimes multiple times. The Doxy is for you if you like your vibrators to “blow your socks off” in terms of power. I’ve yet to come across a vibrator that has more power and depth to its vibrations.
2nd Place: The We-Vibe Tango
The bullet that changed my opinion on bullet vibrators. My previous encounters with little, battery-powered bullet vibes left me wanting more.
I got to the conclusion that I required more than these vibrators could deliver, and as a result, I postponed getting the we-vibe tango for at least six months before being persuaded to do so by dangerous Lilly and Ali, who both told me that I would not be disappointed. Lilly, like me, is a power queen, so that tilted it in my favour, and I placed my order.
I acquired a second bullet a month after witnessing the first. I’d never done anything like this with a sex toy before, but I just had to have a backup in case mine died at any point.
See, the Tango is one of the most powerful and deepest vibrators I’ve ever used, yet it packs all of that punch into a slim, pin-point bullet.
When I need to get from point A to point B in less than 5 minutes, I turn to the Tango, which has never let me down. The only thing you need to think about before buying this powerhouse is “do you require powerful vibes,” because even on the lowest level, it can make me, a self-proclaimed power queen, orgasm, and it might be a little too much for females who prefer things a little softer.
Apart from being a terrific stand-alone sex toy, the Tango also boosts other toys that can accept a bullet, such as the Tantus leisure, the Tantus strap-on harness, and even sticking this little bullet into the hole at the top of my partners masturbation sleeves produces some intense feelings
1st Place: The We-Vibe Touch
The Touch clitoral vibrator is my favourite sex toy of 2017, and it’s another We-Vibe device. This palm-sized vibrator has the same mind-blowing motor as the We-Vibe Tango with four tremendously deep and rumbling continuous speed settings that never fail to hit the spot. The silicone dampens the vibrations slightly, making the Touch less forceful or intense than the Tango, but I prefer it that way. I’m a self-proclaimed powerhouse, but the Tango is so strong that it propels me into quick, intense, but usually brief orgasms.
The Touch is unique. While the vibrations remain unbelievably intense, the minor dulling allows me to hold this vibrator against my clit while orgasming, allowing my orgasms to last longer.
Furthermore, the Touch has a distinct design that makes it far more adaptable than the Tango’s conventional bullet shape. The Touch is the more versatile of the two we-vibe vibrators on my list since you may have the vibrations as dispersed or as pinpoint as you want. I recommend the we-vibe Touch if you just buy one vibrator this year.
Best Sex Toys for Males:
Moving on to our top toys for the boys.
2nd Place: The Tenga Flip Hole (silver)
Because the sensations delivered by this toy were powerful and pleasurable, my partner selected the Flip Hole Silver as his second favourite toy for guys this year.
We also had the pleasure of testing the white Flip Hole male masturbator, which was satisfactory but not quite as nice as the silver.
It has a number of fantastic features, such as the ability to be flipped, giving him two different sensations in one toy, and the’squeezy squeezy’ buttons on the outside that allow him to adjust how tight the sleeve feels while in use. It is not without defects, however, one of which is that it was built for small to medium-sized penises, and larger penises may struggle to fit.
1st Place: The Anthro Dragoness Masturbation Sleeve
The Anthro Dragoness from Bad Dragon is his favourite sex toy this year. This toy is made of high-quality, odourless silicone and is designed to take a beating and come out looking as good as new. It’s his tightest sleeve, and it has a ribbed texture inside that feels more intense than the rest of his wardrobe. It never becomes sticky, and it never grows mould or emits any strange wet odours.
It’s almost flawless. I say almost because it’s heavy (perhaps his heaviest sleeve, despite the lack of an outer casing) and arm soreness can set up quickly if worn for regular masturbation (You could try placing it between objects and thrusting into it.) It may possibly be a tad too tight for some men. Avoid if you already know “tight” isn’t your thing.
Best Anal Sex Toys
2nd Place: The Tantus Ryder
This butt plug was not for the faint of heart, but our intermediate asses still managed to take the Ryder, and I for one, had a great time. It stretched as it went in and gave a fantastic full, but comfortable feeling once it was in place. It also stays inside, making it ideal for wearing around the house or on a pleasant walk. Even when we used it for double penetration, it stayed in place, which astonished me given its size.It’s manufactured out of 100% body-safe silicone and is ideal for intermediate to advanced anal gamers.
1st Place: The Fun Factory Duke
My prostate massager of choice for my spouse. The Duke has a variety of vibration settings (most of which feel rumbling). It is comfortable and large enough to produce a complete feeling and some pressure against the prostate (without finagling it), but it is also small and flexible enough to be pleasant.
Best Bondage and BDSM Toys:
3rd Place: Electrastim Flick EM60-M
Okay, so I realised that I am not a huge fan of electrical current in my delicates, but I also discovered that the Electrastim Flick EM60-M is a really entertaining and flexible device.
Seriously, depending on your wants, this electro stimulation device can be utilised for pleasure or a lot of agony.
It comes with a variety of attachments, all of which are designed to stimulate different sections of the genitals, ranging from vibrations to clenching muscles.
I have realised that it can be used well for pelvic floor workout and creating a circuit with two bodies. (Anyone anyone have tingling fingers?) Seriously adaptable and a lot of fun.
2nd Place: The Corrector Flogger
Can you blame me for falling in love with this stunning flogger, the moment I got it out of its packaging?
It looks MEAN, made with 20 strands of buffalo leather and a steel handle powder coated in a sweet apple red (Deep red).
Its bark, on the other hand, is worse than its bite, as I quickly learned I could really put my weight behind my swings, causing the leather tails to crack loudly as they impacted the flesh. Delicious. It’s still my go-to impact toy.
1st Place: The Spiral Chastity Device
I knew I’d have to get him a long-term chastity device before the year was up because I’m a major fan of chastity and orgasm denial, but we couldn’t decide which one would be ideal because we’d never used one before.
We only bought the Spiral a week or two ago, so I haven’t had a chance to evaluate it yet, but we did technically test it in 2017 and have had nothing but positive experiences with it so far.
It’s the best kink toy we’ve used so far this year.
I realise this is a list of toys evaluated this year, but this item pleased us so much that, despite the lack of a review, I am violating my rule and awarding it the top slot.
Best Lubricants Tested in 2017:
2nd Place: Flavoured Lubricants
I adore a good quality flavoured lubricant, but I’m also a picky bitch, and prior to the advent of’s flavoured lubricant range, I had only ever appreciated Sliquids scented lubricants.
I have a snooty attitude toward own brands, even when shopping for food, so I didn’t have great expectations on the flavor-infused lubes.
I’m such a fool!
With these lubricants, they SMASHED it.
After trying one flavour and discovering that it was genuinely good (not horribly sweet, not too powerful, and no phoney, cheap tastes, just a lovely subtle flavour), I went ahead and purchased three or four bottles, each of which is delicious.
Not only that, but they don’t get sticky after a while (take heed, Durex) and they last a long time.
These have been a staple in my play box.
I’m not going to run out of lubrication.
The Cherry comes highly recommended!
1st Place: Sliquid Sassy Water Based Lubricant
We had the pleasure of trying the greatest “all-rounder” lubricant of the year.
It’s hypoallergenic, free of anything that could cause illness or irritation, and thick enough to act as a lovely slick buffer for anal, sex toy use, and penetration.
It also lasts a reasonable amount of time (For a water based lubricant).
Worst Lubricant Tested in 2017
Swoon Smooth Mover Water Based Lubricant
This lubricant was simply too fluid and slick for any heavy-duty application, including anal sex and usage with large sex toys.
It also tasted like bitter soap, making it unfit for oral sex.
(It also had a soapy scent.)
Overall, I did not find this lubricant to be very useful.
Worst Sex Toys of 2017:
This year, I evaluated a lot of sex toys that left me with mixed feelings, but the ones on this list disappointed me the most.
These toys let me down, either because they didn’t fit my physique or because they didn’t work at all to get me off.
(Which, let’s face it, is critical in a sex toy.)
The Nalone Electro Wand
The Nalone Electro Wand failed me in a number of ways, including deep seams that made it uncomfortable to use and difficult to clean, as well as extremely faint, shallow vibrations on the internal area of the wand.
After twenty minutes of play, the rechargable vibrator would die, and the “electric” fun felt more like stabby torment on my clit.
Furthermore, after only a week of ownership, the metal portions of the toy began to corrode, or rust.
Not for me, thank you very much.
The We-Vibe 2 Couples Vibrator
If spending 34% of your sex session moving your sex toy, wriggling about under the blanket to retrieve it, or yelping in pain is your idea of perfection, this is the toy for you.
The We-Vibe 2 was a pain to use since it wouldn’t stay in place during sex.
Any movement (which is unavoidable during intercourse) would cause the clitoral arm to slide all over my vulva, mostly missing my clitoris and resting on my thigh.
The vibrations were also not particularly strong, so I struggled to orgasm even when I held the toy in place (which violated the purpose of a hands-free, couples sex toy).
The motor on the clitoral arm died after my third or fourth use, so I had to return it.
Overall, I think I failed miserably.
The Lelo Smart Wand (Medium)
I think “power” when I think of a magic “wand” vibrator Unfortunately, this was not the case with the medium of the Lelo Smart Wand.
Despite being the smaller of the two Lelo Smart Wands, this vibrator is still quite huge, large enough to make up for its lacklustre vibration strength and depth.
I like the design of the Lelo Smart Wand, and it has a lot of cool capabilities, but it lacked force and depth in its vibrations, and when you throw in the diffuse nature of the large head, it didn’t even come close to giving me an orgasm.
Worse, it had muted vibrations, which meant the vibrations would fade down whenever I applied pressure to the wand’s head.
Despite its incredible features and luxurious design, I simply cannot tolerate a sex toy that fails to induce orgasm in me.
The Durex Delight Bullet
It’s no secret that I’ve never been a fan of battery-operated bullet vibrators (at least not yet); nevertheless, I understand that not all ladies are like me, and that some prefer a gentler sensation to a jack hammer vibrating their socks off.
So, despite the fact that bullets don’t do much for me (with the exception of the We-Vibe tango), I can usually discern a decent bullet vibrator from a bad one.
The Durex Delight Bullet is by far the worst of the bunch.
It just has one speed, and the vibrations are so weak that they’re almost comical.
I couldn’t suggest this bullet to anyone in good conscience.
Not unless a tiny tickle to your clitoris is your concept of mind-blowing ecstasy.