A Valentine’s Day that Doesn’t Suck

Valentine’s Day actually has a special place in my heart. See, one magical year, I got dumped just before Valentine’s Day and decided to buy myself a JeJoue MiMi… and that was the birth of my sextoy blogging career as we know it.

Valentine’s Day Sex Toys

If you haven’t already, I would highly recommend you pick up the amazing We-Vibe Touch. In my opinion, it’s one of the best and most versatile clitoral vibes around. It’s rumbly and powerful because it has the same motor as the blogger darling Tango, but I love the silicone casing and the unique shape that the Touch offers. On its underside, the Touch has both a gentle point and a clitoral divot, so whether you like broader or more pinpoint stimulation, the Touch will deliver. Plus, I’m a huge fan of We-Vibe as a company – they have some great people working there, and they consistently turn out innovative sex toys.

Looking to hunt your G-spot this Valentine’s Day? The Jopen Key Comet Wand is one of my favorite G-spot toys. It has the rigid structure of glass, but is coated with velvety silicone for texture. The ball at the end is perfectly designed for tracking down your G-spot and applying the kind of delicious pressure that many G-spots crave. I suggest experimenting with thrusting, rocking, and rotating, because you never know what might work for you.

If you want to give something shiny that comes in a satin-lined box but are looking for a little more oomph than jewelry traditionally offers, the nJoy Pure Plug might be right up your rectum alley. I’m not much of a butt gal, but this plug is still among my top 10 favorite anal sex toys of all time. Why? Two reasons: It’s impeccably designed and it adds an extra dimension to my orgasms. See, squeezing around it produces this sensation that I’ve never been able to get from another plug. I don’t know if it’s the shape or the material, but the ass wants what the ass wants.

Valentine’s Day Lubes

Okay, so these are great lubes all year ’round, but bear with me for the sake of SEO.

A good quality, multi-purpose lube is an essential, especially for butt stuff. One of my favorites is Sliquid Silk, because it’s well suited to a variety of situations and materials. It’s a hybrid, so it lasts longer than a water-based formula, but it contains too little silicone to react poorly with your silicone toys. It’s also halfway between a gel (great for anal play) and a watery liquid (better for vaginal or clitoral play). It’s safe with all kinds of condoms, too.

I thought I would never find a flavored lube to rival my old favorite, the Candy Apple flavor from a party company that shall not be named. Well, this is one of those times where I’m ecstatic to be wrong. Wicked Sensual Care makes a water-based Candy Apple flavored lube that tastes like the real thing, doesn’t leave sticky residue, is made with ingredients I trust, and is cruelty-free. Plus, there’s no weird aftertaste. I can’t tell you how happy I am to have some proper blow job candy again! While I don’t recommend using this for penetrative sex, I think it’s great for oral.

Valentine’s Day Makeup

Everyone else is doing a romantic smoky eye and a nude lip, which is reason enough to bust out the brights. Personally, I think MAC’s Violetta is quite festive, and the Amplified Creme formula is super comfortable. It’s not completely opaque, so it’s great for someone just stepping out of their comfort zone. If you’re looking for something with a lot of pop, NYX Matte Lipstick in Shocking Pink delivers. In my opinion, the NYX Matte formula is significantly more comfortable than MAC’s Matte formula, which is important to consider because Shocking Pink is a dupe for MAC’s Candy Yum Yum. More comfort, less cash? There’s a clear winner here.

To keep my under-eye concealer from creasing and to keep my T-zone matte, I’m a pretty big fan of Make Up For Ever HD translucent powder. I have dry skin, but I haven’t seen this powder cling to dry patches, nor does it accentuate the fine lines that appeared on my forehead as a result of marathoning Breaking Bad. It also doesn’t flash back when taking photos with flash photography. While I have the pressed version now, I actually prefer the loose version that I had before.

If your partner is prone to romantic gestures and you’re prone to tears, you might want to pick up a waterproof mascara. Currently, I’m liking L’Oreal Miss Manga Mega Volume Waterproof. I don’t really see mega volume with this, but it gives me a nice, natural-ish lash definition and comes off easily with makeup remover. Plus, it’s drugstore, and mascara is one of the only products that I consistently buy from the drugstore while eschewing pricier brands. I mean, you’re supposed to replace it every 3-6 months for the health of your eyes, and I’ve honestly never used a high end brand that impressed me more than Max Factor 200 Calorie or good old L’Oreal Voluminous. If you shop cruelty free, Wet ‘n Wild has some fantastic mascaras for just $2-4 apiece.

For the pièce de résistance, just one single spritz of a favorite fragrance. Okay, maybe 2. But definitely not 3; fragrance is an embrace, not a bitch-slap. My favorite right now is NEST Midnight Fleur, which Sephora insists has notes of Exotic Woods, Black Amber, Patchouli, Night-Blooming Jasmine, and Vanilla Orchid. I normally can’t stand either Patchouli or Jasmine, but here we are. NEST offers all of their fragrances in roller-ball form, so you don’t have to commit to a full bottle if you’re on a budget or prefer a travel-friendly option.

Finding the Perfect Valentines Gift